Category: Humor

12

A Guide to the Eight Most Suspect Types of Law Review Articles

This is simply my list of the eight most suspect types of articles; I appreciate that others may suggest different, or additional, entries.

1. The Repository of Hope

“As the single-word title connotes, I am very disappointed that this article did not place in a T14 journal.”

2. The Strained Debunker

“In Part I, I will characterize a 1974 Pace Law Review note and a 2007 MySpace entry as embodying ‘conventional wisdom.’ ”

3. The Old-Wine-In-New-Bottles

“No one has evaluated the rule against perpetuities from an animal-rights perspective before, so, you know, what the hell.”

4. The One-Off

“In my previous article, I made a significant contribution to the literature. In this piece, I will coast on the vapors of that article.”

5. The Something Is Unconstitutional

“This article would make a fairly solid student note. It is my tenure piece.”

6. The Turf Staker

“My pre-emption check discovered no articles that cover this territory. I pretty much worked backward from there.”

7. The Half-Hearted Symposium Submission

“We would have tried harder, but hey, we’re talking about a symposium here.”

8. The Torn from the Headlines

“Few would recognize that the United States Supreme Court’s recent decision in ___ vs. ___ would fundamentally alter ___ law. Yet it did, or at least, you won’t be able to prove that it didn’t until this article is already well on its way to publication.”

4

I Suppose That This Is One Way of Putting That . . .

From a Masters thesis about John Bingham written in the 1950s:

“Though active as a lawyer-politician, Bingham did not neglect his conjugal duties.”  [The paragraph then goes on to describe his children.]

That’s not a turn of phrase that I plan to use.

0

The Devil’s Dictionary

After two-and-a-half years, I’ve decided that it’s time to retire the “Yes, Minister/Yes, Prime Minister” posts.  I think that there’s nothing left to mine from that series.  Don’t fret though–I’m going to start using quotes from “The Devil’s Dictionary” by Ambrose Bierce. (If you’ve never read this, you should.)  So let’s start with an obvious one:

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.