Beware the Trefoils

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3 Responses

  1. JoeJP says:

    Is this a totally serious entry?

    Nothing in excess is the rule. Healthy diets can survive a few cookies. Gambling is excess is a problem too. A few lottery tickets or a poker game now and then, not an issue.

    How about some healthier cookies? Will that work?

  2. Jim Maloney says:

    It’s enlightening and entertaining to see The Girl Scouts for once (and for a valid reason) portrayed as The Bad Girls, promoting decadence, diabetes and decay (of both teeth and morals, I suppose) by pushing their quasi-toxic product to generate hundreds of millions of dollars of operating revenue for the gang of which they are members. Perhaps in twenty years, when “today’s elementary school students will have no expectation that they should celebrate their own children’s birthdays by sending in cupcakes,” those 2032 TGS/TBG cookiemongers will be riding up to your door en masse on hydrogen-powered Harleys urging you to place your order.

    It also occurs the me that (at least according to Thomas Bassler, MD, in his book, The Whole Lief Diet) a human burns about 1,000 calories per mile traversed on foot, whether walking or running (the former just takes longer). Perhaps TGS/TBG could redeem itself by also extracting pledges from vendees to walk or run, say, 5.6 miles for those two boxes of pure junk. That works out 2,240,000 miles of additional human bipedal locomotion per year, and it would almost certainly have the added benefit of reducing fossil fuel consumption, especially if TGS/TBG were to point out that you could fulfill your pledge by walks to the grocery store or jogs to the post office (if those exist in twenty years). Plus, they could leave each vendee with a form on which to collect per-mile pledges from family and friends, generating more revenue for the organization. The cookiemongers in a single visit would thus generate bucks per calorie in both metabolic directions, then off on those hydrogen-powered Harleys to the next gig.

  3. CBR says:

    It’s actually 100 calories a mile (roughly), not 1,000, see http://www.livestrong.com/article/435790-which-two-exercises-burn-100-calories-per-mile/

    So Jim’s Girl Scouts are going to have to get pledges to walk or run a whole lot more to make up for the cookies sold–56 miles for those two boxes!