Announcing Deanship Opening
We are seeking applicants for the position of Dean. The applicants should have some administrative experience although a prior deanship is not required. Some but not exceptional scholarly productivity is a requirement. Among the attributes that will be examined is the ability to work well with others. More specifically:
1. The dean should generally say yes to all faculty requests no matter how absurd.
2. The dean should not ask faculty to fill holes in the curriculum on a temporary basis.
3. The dean should make use of liberal summer research grants without expecting immediate – or any – results.
4. The dean should prepare massive glossy publications publicizing the scholarship of the faculty in lieu of actually requiring the production of scholarship.
5. Classes should not be scheduled on Monday or Friday or any day before 10:00 AM.
6. The deans should avoid controversy by shifting difficult issues to faculty committees, ignoring issues in hopes they will go away, or by redefining the issue
7. The dean should listen to no one except those on the faculty who he or she believes could influence the future of his or her deanship.
8. The dean should first and always think about the welfare of the faculty over that of the students.
The Search Committee is aware that there are many highly qualified decanal candidates and ask that interested applicants submit their resumes as soon as possible.