Our thoughts are with you.

Laura

I’m very sorry to hear of your mother’s illness. I’m sure I speak on behalf of all of CoOp’s readers in hoping and praying for a full and speedy recovery. And good for you for being there for her; I’m sure you see it as obvious that you would be, but then that’s the point.

Orin

I know it sounds trite, but I well understand what your’re going through and think this is indeed an appropriate occasion for philosophical reflection. When our mother was diagnosed with cancer and informed she had less than a year to live, we moved her up to Santa Barbara to be closer to three of her four sons and to better take care of her (near the end she had hospice care as well). Not long after her diagnosis, my father died of a heart attack (he was in poor health, but the swiftness of his death took us by surprise). So I (we) lost each of my parents in a short period, a ‘one, two’ knockout punch. And being the oldest of five children, I noticed how swiftly and attentively my brothers and sister looked to me for signs of appropriate attitude, response and behavior, which made me a bit uncomfortable, as I’m not sure they appreciated how this was not something I had been well prepared for either! But of course we realize in our heart of hearts what it is we need to do and we do it. It is unfortunate that for many of us it is only in such circumstances that we take time out to look at the proverbial ‘big picture,’ to appreciate moments of prolonged silence and prayer. It is unfortunate that it takes a literal confrontation with the prospect or reality of death: ours or that of an intimate relative or friend, for us to come to terms with our true and best selves, to see the value incarnate in acts of genuine compassion and love, to gain proper perspective and a glimmer of wisdom. The virtues that surface during such times need to find anchor in the busyness of our everyday lives which are routinely buffeted by the forces of extrinsic values expressing, if only by default and in collaboration with our ‘forgetfullness’ (as self-deception, a state of denial, or wishful thinking), nothing but contempt for anthing within the orbit of Arnoldian sweetness and light or ethical and spiritual virtues. While the entire post was moving, I was thus particularly struck by your desire to ‘maintain something of this awareness as I continue caring for her, and reenter the maelstrom of professional life.’