A Guide to Grading Exams
posted by Daniel Solove
It’s that time of year again. Students have taken their finals, and now it is time to grade them. It is something professors have been looking forward to all semester. Exactness in grading is a well-honed skill, taking considerable expertise and years of practice to master. The purpose of this post is to serve as a guide to young professors about how to perfect their grading skills and as a way for students to learn the mysterious science of how their grades are determined.
Grading begins with the stack of exams, shown in Figure 1 below.
The next step is to use the most precise grading method possible. There never is 100% accuracy in grading essay exams, as subjective elements can never be eradicated from the process. Numerous methods have been proposed throughout history, but there is one method that has clearly been proven superior to the others. See Figure 2 below.
The key to this method is a good toss. Without a good toss, it is difficult to get a good spread for the grading curve. It is also important to get the toss correct on the first try. Exams can get crumpled if tossed too much. They begin to look as though the professor actually read them, and this is definitely to be avoided. Additional tosses are also inefficient and expend needless time and energy. Note the toss in Figure 3 below. This is an example of a toss of considerable skill — obviously the result of years of practice.
Note in Figure 3 above that the exams are evenly spread out, enabling application of the curve. Here, however, is where the experts diverge. Some contend that the curve ought to be applied as in Figure 4 below, with the exams at the bottom of the staircase to receive a lower grade than the ones higher up on the staircase.
According to this theory, quality is understood as a function of being toward the top, and thus the best exams clearly are to be found in this position. Others, however, propose an alternative theory (Figure 5 below).
They contend that that the exams at the bottom deserve higher grades than the ones at the top. While many professors still practice the top-higher-grade approach, the leading authorities subscribe to the bottom-higher-grade theory, despite its counterintuitive appearance. The rationale for this view is that the exams that fall lower on the staircase have more heft and have traveled farther. The greater distance traveled indicates greater knowledge of the subject matter. The bottom higher-grade approach is clearly the most logical and best-justified approach.
Even with the grade curve lines established, grading is far from completed. Several exams teeter between levels. The key is to measure the extent of what is referred to as “exam protrusion.” Exams that have small portions extending below the grade line should receive a minus; exams with protrusions above the grade lines receive a plus.
But what about exams that are right in the middle of a line. In Figure 6 below, this exam teeters between the A and B line. Should it receive and A- or a B+?
This is a difficult question, but I believe it is clearly an A-. The exam is already bending toward the next stair, and in the bottom-higher-grade approach, it is leaning toward the A-. Therefore, this student deserves the A- since momentum is clearly in that direction.
Finally, there are some finer points about grading that only true masters have understood. Consider the exam in Figure 7 below. Although it appears on the C stair and seems to be protruding onto the B stair, at first glance, one would think it should receive a grade of C+. But not so. A careful examination reveals that the exam is crumpled. Clearly this is an indication of a sloppy exam performance, and the grade must reflect this fact. The appropriate grade is C-.
One final example, consider in Figure 8 below the circled exam that is is very far away from the others at the bottom of the staircase. Is this an A+?
Novices would think so, as the exam has separated itself a considerable distance from the rest of the pack. However, the correct grade for this exam is a B. The exam has traveled too far away from the pack, and will lead to extra effort on the part of the grader to retrieve the exam. Therefore, the exam must be penalized for this obvious flaw.
As you can see, grading takes considerable time and effort. But students can be assured that modern grading techniques will produce the most precise and accurate grading possible, assuming professors have achieved mastery of the necessary grading skills.
DISCLAIMER FOR THE GULLIBLE: This post is a joke. I do not grade like this. Instead, I use an even more advanced method — an eBay grade auctioning system.
December 14, 2006 at 1:09 am
Posted in: Humor, Law School (Teaching)
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Responses (159)
Eric Goldman - December 14, 2006 at 1:15 am
My 4 year old son, who is mastering the ABCDs, often provides useful and cost-effective labor to assist with grading. Eric.
Paul Ohm - December 14, 2006 at 1:27 am
Funny coincidence, Eric. My much younger kids have only gotten A, B, and (less helpful) H down. So, bad news for the Associate Dean who wants me to follow the curve; great news for my students!
Hilarious post Dan. You must’ve gotten some odd looks while doing this.
Daniel J. Solove - December 14, 2006 at 1:32 am
Paul — Fortunately, nobody saw me create the post, but I got locked in the stairwell and had to walk down 8 flights of stairs to exit. The things I do for the art of blogging . . .
Dave! - December 14, 2006 at 1:46 am
That is *so* unfair!! I can’t believe how little you care about your students.
Clearly, the only proper way to grade the exams is by drawing large circles on the floor representing each letter grade, and tossing the exams in the air.
I am so glad I’m not in your class.
Espen - December 14, 2006 at 4:55 am
Great - this is so much better than my legacy method. We used to have numeric grades here in Norway, and then I could just measure each paper and multiply with a factor (thin paper - good grade). An intermediate solution with lots of if..then.. in the spreadsheet has proved unsatisfactory, but our new building has lots of staircases that seem purpose-built for grading tosses. Maybe I will have time for celebrating Christmas after all….
Kristian - December 14, 2006 at 7:10 am
Personally I prefer the Standardized Lottery grade Awarding Method (SLAM) where grades are awarded according to a draw. This is an entry level method and I know it’s time consuming, but it’s still fair.
Furthermore, I understand through this Standardized Toss Down Stair Case grade Awarding Method (STD-SCAM or STanDard-SCAM as it is commonly refered to) that it’s important to either hand in first (be in bottom of the pile) or deliver last (in order to be on top of the pile). The problem is to know if you hand out the grade A from the top or the bottom of the stair case.
David Cavanagh - December 14, 2006 at 8:29 am
Clearly the “higher grade at the bottom” is correct, but for reasons opposite to those you describe: A little theoretical physics and experimentation has convinced me that the heavier exams fall sooner than the lighter ones and tend to drop first, i.e., higher up the stairs. There are two reasons for giving lower grades to heftier exams: (1) Expert exam writers/graders quickly learn to write questions that are best answered by pithy responses from knowledgable persons. Less prepared students and those with little test savvy will usually attempt to “snow” the professor with extensive, rambling, and unresponsive persiflage. Such behavior must be crushed. (2) It is good if deans and the occassional student seem to see you assiduously grading exams. Lighter exams make easier reading in such circumstances. Students who write these useful exams should be rewarded.
I did learn valuable pointers from this site about grading papers that teeter between steps. One issue you did not cover was exams that “fall between the cracks”. This can be a major problem both in older universities with wooden staircases and extremely modern ones with cantilevered concrete risers. My solution has been to give these the lowest possible passing grade, since they create additional work for the grader. On the other hand, this has gained me a reputation among students and colleagues as being somewhat of a tartar
Luke G. - December 14, 2006 at 8:30 am
Heheheh. I have about 100 papers to grade by Friday of next week and a system like this is very tempting.
Ken Mortensen - December 14, 2006 at 8:42 am
Having not had quite as many years as Dan in teaching, I do hesitate to correct his obvious mastery of this grading skill, but I must make one point for the sake of clarity, should someone mistake graduate level grading with undergraduate level grading.
The essense of the method is the same for both, but for undergraduate grades, the professor should toss up the stairs rather than down. With the grade scale still extending away from the professor (higher up the stairs will be a higher grade).
This makes sense, since undergraduate students cannot have developed as a refined sense of the subject matter as graduate students and the tossing up will naturally take this into account using gravity to appropriately adjust the curve.
anon - December 14, 2006 at 8:44 am
Ya gotta throw em over your shoulder, to assure impartiality!
Meg - December 14, 2006 at 8:51 am
It is comforting to know that professors get just as punchy around finals time as students do!
“(2) It is good if deans and the occassional student seem to see you assiduously grading exams. Lighter exams make easier reading in such circumstances. Students who write these useful exams should be rewarded.”
If only my own professors would take this into account, and reward me for brevity! (Lack of knowledge has nothing to do with it, of course.)
Al Maviva - December 14, 2006 at 10:22 am
Interesting. I believe my school issued grades based on handwriting quality. First year, handwritten exams with my atrocious penmanship, mostly middle of the curve grades. Really, my name should have been Joe B. Curve. Second year, I moved to the typing room… bada bing! A .2 improvement across the board, into that rarified 57% percentile region! Yes - Instead of being perfectly mediocre, now only 43% of all students in my class were better human beings and more worthy than me in every respect, thanks to International Business Machines and their excellent Selectric III.
I don’t recall what happened third year because I was drunk and golfing the whole time, normally with a couple other students and and a couple business law professors who made millions and didn’t really see teaching one or two classes a year as work. The intensive effort on my drinking and golfing has definitely paid benefits in my post law school life. If I had known the importance of drinking and golfing at the start of law school, I think I might have skipped law school and just worked on my short game, and sunk the student loans into Bud Lite. I think that’s what that latter-day Clarence Darrow, John Daly, is up to. I hear he’s been admitted to the bars in many states.
Darian Ibrahim - December 14, 2006 at 10:39 am
This is a most entertaining post. Thanks, Dan!
NWAAR - December 14, 2006 at 10:56 am
I am sure you will all be interested in a new proprietary software program for use with electronically filed exams: Active Test Adjudication and Result Insertion (ATARI).
The program creates a random swarm of exam papers and simulates hurling them toward the viewer of the computer monitor. Using the arrow keys (or a joystick) the “grader” fires photon “grades” at the attacking papers; each “hit” is assigned a random grade acccording to preset curve data, thus assuring a double-random result (which self-evidently is as normatively “fair” as any student could wish.) A counter at the bottom of the screen shows the remaining supply of each letter grade, but not which one will be fired next. Exams that “get by” the photon killing zone are automatically assigned the midpoint of the requisite curve, so that the grader is granted the joy of greater “result randomness” as his/her accuracy increases. This keeps the grader mentally “in the game,” which is something students often deserve.
Mike - December 14, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Funny post, but my question is this: if you really grade exams by tossing them down the stairs, why is it that it takes you lazy bastards so long to get me my grades? Since most of you teach the same crap each year and grade students ONCE every six months, I would think you could expedite the process a bit more.
Jeff Lipshaw - December 14, 2006 at 1:13 pm
This is a hilarious post. I felt compelled to disclose my grading system over at Legal Profession Blog
Solangel - December 14, 2006 at 1:58 pm
Dan,
I was about to start drafting my grading sheet when I saw your post. This is much better than my own method of taking my own exam, grading it (hope I get an “A+”), preparing a detailed grading sheet, and painstakingly allocating points. It would be intesting to use my method then use your method and see what happens. I’m terrified that the results might be the same.
Jim in Texas - December 14, 2006 at 2:00 pm
I personally like the system that required all exams to be written on the back of any form of U.S. Currency. This helps simplify the entire process. Short answers and the denomination of the currency shows how serious the student considers their education.
stealthlawprof - December 14, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Mike — It would violate the school policy of enhancing student angst in every way possible if we were to provide grades quickly. We would receive nasty notes from the Dean, horrid committee assignments, and classes at 8:00 a.m. Monday morning and late Friday afternoon in the same semester if we were so freely to breach the profession’s standards. Unthinkable.
tom swift - December 14, 2006 at 2:09 pm
Nope, don’t believe it. This method requires the prof to actually touch the papers at some point. Ideally he should never even be in the same room.
The method as described is sound (and quite old - but the action photos are an Internet innovation), however the actual physical work should, of course, be done by a grad student.
Seriously, what are those Teaching Assistants for? Not for teaching, surely.
P.S. Ruckman, Jr. - December 14, 2006 at 2:30 pm
A wealth of scientific evidence exists (I am told) which supports the central premises of this analysis. It would be a crime against humanity if it is not submitted to the J.I.R. (Journal of Irreproducible Results).
Chip Ahoy - December 14, 2006 at 2:56 pm
The bender granted an A is bending on top of another bender. I insist In fairness the stomped-on bender be granted an A too.
John M. Perkins - December 14, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Too much bias in the stair toss.
I prefer random intergers at http://www.random.org
Ana - December 14, 2006 at 3:14 pm
That is hilarious!!
Though if I were to be from the bunch that got a D…..I protest to the teacher to toss the exams one more time :p
Mark - December 14, 2006 at 3:56 pm
While a TA at Indiana University in the mid-70’s, I used this method to grade the papers for 3 of the 4 study sections of my professor’s large class. Another TA (obviously the teacher’s pet) had only the one section and used a different grading methodology. At the conclusion of the semester, we compared notes and experiences, and it was obvious that the Stair Toss Grading System was a much more reliable predictor of future educational and career performance. I am glad to see that research continues in this field of applied statistical analysis and that it continues to support its utility.
Ralph Brill - December 14, 2006 at 3:59 pm
Throwing them down the stairs isn’t much fun. I prefer to use a dart board. Bulls eye is an A, high numbers are in the B range, and Es are those that miss the board altogether. At least I get some exercise and sharpen my own dart throwing skills.
Jason R. Young - December 14, 2006 at 4:00 pm
here at UBC we use the same system: its callewd the buchanan tower marking system. Johan!!! i think you borrowed this from me!
Dan - December 14, 2006 at 4:07 pm
I have thought about making an initial pass through the written answers for the exams that end in the ever-compelling epitaph, “Out of time……..,” or “This exam was too long……..” Also look out for the one or two that, instead of spending time answering one of the many questions they skipped, engage in a tirade against your test or pedagogy.
Give those exams an A since they are most likely to complain and create headaches. The rest are appropriately dealt with through the stair technique.
Catharine Gagnon - December 14, 2006 at 4:28 pm
I prefer the old method that appears in out law text for dividing a fox carcass when there is a dispute of ownership before the courts.
Have students submit a closed bid- how much an A is worth to them, the student with the highest bid must pay that amount for the A, the students then with lower bids must pay the lower amount for the subsequently lower grades.
This encourages fairness, the student who values the A the most will make the highest closed bid, without knowing the bid of their classmates they show the true cost-benefit analysis of the A, and they then will get that grade for how much they think it’s worth.
It increases the wages of desperately under paid teachers and it teaches students the important rules of Capitalism, well and the rules of fox carcass division….
Ken - December 14, 2006 at 5:17 pm
The exams appear to have been tossed en masse. This would create a patent unfairness in the system, as papers turned in first and thus on the bottom of the stack would hit first, and the sheets turned in last would have the longest ride (unless the entire pile were to flip upon contact with the first step).
Two groups finish their exam quickly: the very smart and the very stupid. But some intelligent people check over their paper 2, 3 even 4 times to ensure it is perfect. Being at the top of the stack, they will therefore receive a D with the Figure 4 curve.
This is all to suggest that the professor who gives a damn will fling the exams one at a time, thus negating the blessing or curse of finishing too quickly, and eliminating position in the stack as an unfair determinant.
And if a paper flies over the rail? “Incomplete.”
Riana - December 14, 2006 at 5:20 pm
I have my Civil Procedure exam tomorrow. I’m going to use a really big font. 36-point, at least. And if possible, I’ll print it on card stock, so there is no possibility of bending or crumpling.
Duran - December 14, 2006 at 5:27 pm
The methods described are interesting but become obsolete with tenure.
When responding to queries in lecture, “I see that there IS such a thing as a stupid question” may flow from your lips as its source is most certaily the ambrosia that is your mind.
Including: “Flunk Now And Avoid The Rush”
at the top of exams will not only reduce your workload but will force those attempting to reach higher than their grasp to fall, shamefully to the bottom of the ladder where they belong.
Ah, I love it up here.
Chris - December 14, 2006 at 6:09 pm
You incompetent grade inflating hack!!
Your spread across the curve indicates the toss was performed at the wrist. That’s the mark of a rank amateur. The wrist is kept straight and in line with the forearm, with the toss being executed with the elbow at a 45 degree angle.
If the curve distribution needs re-examination, down 6-12 Schlitz Malt Liquor beers (The Bull), and then re-execute the elbow toss.
Frank - December 14, 2006 at 6:15 pm
I am a retired attorney. When I was in law school, I always suspected that exams were graded this way. Now I know for sure!
Joe Sanders - December 14, 2006 at 6:32 pm
My children gave my wife and I a cruise for our 40th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, it begins right after my final exam. I asked my friend Rick Lempert if taking the exams on the cruise would be seen as bad form by my spouse. His response was no. He recommended that I toss the exams off of the back of the ship and see which exams floated longest. (He did not offer an opinion as to whether those exams that sank first should get the As or the Fs, but given your convencing aguments, clearly those that sink first have more “heft” and should get the As.) Rick noted that this procedure has the added benefit of leaving no “paper trail,” eliminating the possibility of later appeals by students. He noted that no one could reasonably object to this because it is also true with modern voting machines. Do you agree that a toss off the stern is a reasonable grading method and would you agree that those exams sinking first deserve the As? Also, should I attempt to distinguish between, say Bs and B+s or should I simply grade on a five point scale? (I am planning to take a pair of binoculars to assist me in this task.)
happylee - December 14, 2006 at 6:38 pm
true/false exams on scantrons is the way to go. You can grade a class of 40 in less time than it takes to finish a smoke. (though crafting a good t/f exam could take a lot more time…)
Donald - December 14, 2006 at 7:11 pm
I’ll be curious to see how many of your students surreptitiously tape index cards into their bluebooks next semester (to create a more aerodynamic exam)!
Donald - December 14, 2006 at 7:12 pm
I’ll be curious to see how many of your students surreptitiously tape index cards into their bluebooks next semester (to create a more aerodynamic exam)!
michael r - December 14, 2006 at 7:16 pm
I’ll admit… I have graded papers in a fashion nearly resembling this. The professor I worked for liked to have very long essay exams, and assigned a lot of papers. She then left it up to me to spend hour upon hour grading.
I would take the papers and read part of them quickly and seperate them into about 5 groups based on quality (A, B, C, ect). Then I’d give each section the ‘ol toss to determine the final grade (A+, A, A-, ect).
JorgXMcKie - December 14, 2006 at 8:38 pm
I’ve found that it’s much quicker and just as fair to randomly assign letter grades on the spreadsheet and then write them in red ink on the paper.
It turns out that *no one* that gets a better than expected grade complains. Also, no one that gets a grade within two steps of what they expected complains (i.e. a C instead of a B-). Almost no one complains even if they get even a whole letter grade lower than they expected. Finally, some will complain when they get substantially below what they expected (mostly the very good students and the delusional).
I then allow the students who complain to ‘defend’ their paper. Most can’t. Finally, I have to actually read and grade about half of those and that amounts to fewer than 5% of the total.
It makes me look like a concerned and fair prof while not only reducing my workload by around 90% but giving me a few good laughs at the same time.
Bob S. - December 14, 2006 at 9:10 pm
You are all so LEFT BRAINED…tosses, darts, ships, aerodynamics (although I have some sympathy for the beer approach). My, oh my, just divine the mark - much easier. It’s there in Jung’s collective subconcious, just go get it and talk about no paper trails.
Jessica - December 14, 2006 at 9:37 pm
Maybe it would be more efficient to turn the exams into paper airplanes. The ones that fly the farthest would be As, the closest Fs, and ect. A roof landing would be marked “Incomplete”.
Dumb Ox - December 14, 2006 at 11:16 pm
My system is much simpler, more efficient, and much less subjective. First I remove those exams that are blank or clearly, clearly delusional baloney. Those are the F’s. The rest get tossed down the stairs.
Face up landers are B’s, while face down landers are C’s. Landing on a side edge, propped up against any wall or furniture, is a D, and on a top or bottom edge is an A.
I think that’s why they call that part of the stairs the “landing.”
Bill - December 14, 2006 at 11:34 pm
This is destined to be a classic along the lines of my other favorite Prof. Solove post.
http://www.concurringopinions.com/archives/2005/10/the_airline_scr.html
Brian - December 15, 2006 at 3:05 am
That explains why I got an A+ in Animal Law and a C+ in Civil Procedure.
Erik - December 15, 2006 at 3:24 am
Hah! And my classmates thought I was odd for spraying Teflon over my exam papers! Side note to self: think long and hard before taking Goldman next year.
Grey - December 15, 2006 at 3:33 am
You Sir, have just cut down on my workload a great deal. : )
WTJ - December 15, 2006 at 4:11 am
the far one would be FAIL
Gerry - December 15, 2006 at 8:48 am
Thanks for presenting this thoughtful study on grading, although it’s a little late for me — I retired 10 years ago from active teaching. I did use this method during my teaching years, but never with the subtlety proposed in this paper for awarding – and + scores. I was definitely in the “lighter paper gets a higher grade” school of grading, but never tried the “up the stairs” method proposed by one of the paper’s “discussants.”
For my grading I used the carpeted stairs at my home, which contributed a stickiness after landing that made the grades more certain. This benefit is not available on the concrete stairs used in the demonstration. I think if the study had been thorough it would have tested the method on a number of different types of stairs, including different riser heights, number of stairs, stair surfaces, and the like to verify the method, but the paper as presented is definitely a good first “step.”
anon - December 15, 2006 at 9:18 am
A variation on part of the suggested grading methodology: Stand at top of stairs and toss high in air. Exams that stick to the ceiling get an A.
Jack - December 15, 2006 at 11:12 am
One year, my curve was unusually low because I left the window open on the landing. That was a tough year to take my course.
When we had an elevator installed in my house, I hired a grader. She lived in a ranch house, so we just used pass-fail. Everyone failed.
anonymous - December 15, 2006 at 11:50 am
None of you people who’ve tried to add to the joke are funny at all.
Anonymous - December 15, 2006 at 11:54 am
wow…this is simply awesome…i cant wait for information privacy law with solove next semester that i signed up for
Chris - December 15, 2006 at 1:14 pm
This has gotten me thinking. I have an exam on monday. Do I write more words in less time, less words in more time, less words in less time, or more words in more time. Which method will my professor use?? I can’t be sure!
Keith Rowley - December 15, 2006 at 2:12 pm
When I interviewed at Stetson many moons ago, there was a staircase with letter grades painted on the steps. As I recall, F was at the top of the stairs and A at the bottom.
Grading Whaa? - December 15, 2006 at 4:09 pm
I am a recently tenured professor, and I was sent this article by a former student. I am, however, confused by this article: What is this thing that the blogger refers to as “grading”? Should I be familiar with this thing–especially around this time of the year?
Anthony D'Amato - December 15, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Call it the stepwise method.
Anthony D'Amato - December 15, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Call it the stepwise method.
Lynn A. - December 15, 2006 at 5:22 pm
I’ve been teaching for 40 years and it is always great to learn new ways of doing things, especially grading papers. Thsi method takes all of the subjectivity and associated anxiety out of grading. Thanks!
DH Kaye - December 15, 2006 at 6:25 pm
The chance of a paper crossing a parallel line brings to mind Buffon’s needle problem.
your mom - December 15, 2006 at 8:11 pm
why am I studying for exams again? If I hate studying and professors hate grading, why don’t you just teach me the secert handshake already and be done with it?
BroD - December 15, 2006 at 8:34 pm
I’m the Registrar at my university system campus. On behalf of my peers I say, whatever your method, just get the grades to my office by the deadline or you’ll end up teaching in that little room next door to the athletic department laundry.
Have a pleasant winter break!
Artoonie - December 15, 2006 at 10:43 pm
No wonder I always get A’s! I turn in late papers, thus putting them at the top of the stack, and thus moving farther down. Thanks!
Ryan Walters - December 15, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Really not the least bit funny, given how arbitrary exam grading really is and how important it is to students when it’s the ONLY thing you grade a student on. Let’s wait to make jokes about it until after you law professors implement a transparent way to grade law school classes that is consistent with educational principles.
Ancarett - December 15, 2006 at 11:06 pm
No, no, no! You have to use the bell curve and remember that the outliers, high and low, represent the two undesirable extremes of too little writing or frantic overworking. The exact centre steps are where your A papers lurk.
You also get a much better distribution if you go up to the top of a tall building (ten or more stories) and drop the bundle down the centre opening of the stairwell. Of course, one sets one’s TAs to gather and grade the results rather than having to slog through all the humdrum work personally.
Excellent post, by the way!
Snowman - December 15, 2006 at 11:30 pm
Daniel:
I was first introduced to this grading method as a freshman in college in 1976. Glad to see that it’s still around. Much more difficult back then to literaly “bang out” a heavy “A” paper on a manual typewriter. How do we account for grade inflation? Heavier-weight paper or MS Word?
Snowman
PS Method as described in Fig 5 (A+ at the bottom) was used then.
Snowman - December 15, 2006 at 11:33 pm
Hey Ryan (above): ever watch the movie Stripes?
Lighten up, Francis.
plusaf - December 16, 2006 at 12:43 am
_I_ was introduced to this method some time in high school [59-63] or college [63-68], but the teachers were much less lazy then: the procedure was described as throwing the papers UP a flight of stairs, not DOWN. better grades were awarded for achieving the higher levels. well, it made sense then, anyway….
Ciprian Ivanof - December 16, 2006 at 1:27 am
The methods differ in somewhat lesser developed countries. One method is to put exams on the table (as there is only one used for both work and grading) and wait for some grease stains to stain the papers. Those that get stained are considered “Painfully transparent” and so warrant a low grade (an actual fail depends on the value of the gift the exam is wrapped around.
A further technique is to grade papers based on the pollution that colects on them when the window in left open (not frequently used after those who performed this method started dying off) and those that were the most polluted were judged “lacking clarity”.
A more common method among more rural institutions is to observe the amount of mud that collects on the papers as they are trnsferred to from the examination room to the grading area. Those that remain legible are considered “cogent and displays a good understanding of the field”, those on the lower end of the cleanliness scale should be considered “lacking clarity and depth”.
A method not to be underestimated is reading the first five lines to street children begging from you and grades being assigned go from the speediest departure receiveing the highest grades and the slowest flight receiving the lowest grade. One disadvantage is that the process leads to grade inflation in the more technical fields.
Success Warrior - December 16, 2006 at 5:29 am
I just finished up the semester and I’m betting that one of my instructors actually uses this system. It’s good to get a behind-the-scenes look at what’s going on.
Thanks.
Green Rookie - December 16, 2006 at 8:49 am
Thanks for the advice! Just a pity you did not come with it sooner. I have already graded them all through my ingenious TOILET BOWL method. It’s a more definitive method. In the words of a TV host, “THE SPIN STOPS HERE.” Sinking papers get A’s and B’s; floating papers get C’s, and D’s. The “FECIED” one’s naturally get F’s.
Thanks again for a back-up method!
jason Nolan - December 16, 2006 at 2:12 pm
\facepalms
To think… I still learn new techniques of summative evaluation. But, I ask, how can this be used in formative or performance evaluations?
Joshua Friesen - December 16, 2006 at 7:00 pm
I feel humbled by the ingenuity of those before me. I hope I develop a grading method this awe-inspiring when I become a teacher.
Alas, as a present student, how horrifying that my hard work may be treated so preferentially. At least there’s the small consolation that some of my bullshit may slip through.
Great article!
Betty Trott - December 16, 2006 at 8:59 pm
Good advice and clever marketing. I could have graded quite a few papers during the time I was snickering along. Now there is less time. So the solution seems more appealing. As I delay further, I will soon have no choice but to follow the advice. Betty Trott
Mamacita - December 16, 2006 at 10:46 pm
Brilliant! I snorted diet Coke all over my keyboard, but it was worth it.
I’d tell you my main method of grading essays, but you might not respect me in the morning.
Yalras - December 17, 2006 at 12:54 am
God!
so funny.
Earnest English - December 17, 2006 at 1:32 am
I’m SO relieved I waited to finish up my grading. Clearly this will be the easiest way. Of course, it gets a bit more complicated when one assigns portfolios. One has to account for the difference between a large envelope and a binder.
Austin - December 17, 2006 at 3:39 am
My chest started hurting after laughing too hard. This method clearly reflects how some teachers at my school grade, although I won’t mention any names *cough fawcett cough*. Thanks for the laugh, I’ll send you a law suit for my cardiac arrest next week.
Joseph - December 17, 2006 at 5:24 am
I’m a UCLA first year law student. I’m studying on Saturday night at 2:30am for my contracts final on monday and I just came across this post. This is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. It does explain, however, why I get so many A’s.
joe - December 17, 2006 at 7:22 am
Joseph, if searching blogs is your idea of studying, you have more problems than you think. You better go for heft - or based on your claimed grades, maybe you already have!
Sarah - December 18, 2006 at 2:17 am
Thank you for amusing me during finals.
Ruth Wilkinson - December 18, 2006 at 8:55 am
Hi,
I have always loved that “alternative” humour in life (or as so many other people call it…weird…odd…quote “it’s not REALLY funny though is it”?), and spending all my 41yrs saying “you just don’t get it…do you?”
From the Goodies when I was little to “Not the Nine ‘clock news”, Monty Python ….need I go on,
As far as I am concerned, you either get it or you don’t and I can honestly say that I haven’t laughed so much in ages!!
Have a really “MERRY XMAS”
love,
Ruth
xxx
Gail - December 18, 2006 at 9:42 am
My daughter, second year law student, sent me this. Obviously she thought it was revealing. However, I clearly remember being graded this way when I was in school. My university pearched on rolling hills. The possibility for grading was endless. There was the “basic stair toss” (up or down), the “does it float?” when tossed off the second story window, the if-it-ends-in-mud-it-fails, the winter “slide downward on snow”, the “drunken readings without glasses”, the “Oh, am I supposed to do something with these?” innocent newby approach to the “I haven’t read a word you wrote all semester why begin now?” veteran approach. After years of reading my student’s papers, I have realized that it is simply too painful to find out what (if anything) they have retained or worse, how they have interpreted my lectures. I favor the leave-me-in -bliss-ignorance grading system. I make my mind up immediately at the beginning of the term. If I remember who they are, it’s an A. If I have actually seen them more than once…B. If I noticed them sleeping in the back of the room…C. If I have never noticed them anywhere near my classroom, D or F, depending entirely on my mood. I have also found that those who bring me coffee tend to do better. I hope this helps some of you who are actually still actively dealing with student papers.
Janet - December 18, 2006 at 3:03 pm
People, people… to really judge the research quality of the papers they must be tossed down the stairs of the university library.
DS - December 18, 2006 at 3:17 pm
That can’t be how my student papers were graded. I got consistently good marks, so the method must have been: the handsomer the student, the better the marks. When marking papers myself, however, I used a different method, using an algorithm based on a combination of how loud the music was playing, how much beer was left in the fridge, and the proximity of the deadline for handing in the marks.
MT - December 18, 2006 at 4:50 pm
Why doesn’t anyone explain this to new professors? I have wasted so much time with this pile of exams! And how do I get a house with stairs?
teppo - December 19, 2006 at 1:19 am
MT: You don’t need a house with stairs - you can quite effectively do this anywhere at your university - preferably outside as it adds an interesting element to the grading process, namely, wind.
Rudy Jacinto - December 19, 2006 at 11:07 am
=)
DanB - December 19, 2006 at 11:42 am
I have used this method for years, and have found it most helpful. Many students have begun handing in their term papers with a clear plastic jacket. My analysis of this phenomenon has uncovered the fact that this makes the paper more aerodynamic, and provides greater lift resulting in more papers making a successful flight to the bottom of the stairs earning more students higher grades. This might be a significant contributing factor to grade inflation. There should be a publishable article in this somewhere.
Brinticus - December 19, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Thank you so much for finally giving a full description of this grading process. I’ve heard about it for years, but it was never quite covered in grad. school, and I was sure that I was missing many of the techniques and metrics of evaluation. Sometimes when a windy draft is coming up the stairs, a few papers will flutter, which clearly means I’ve not made up my mind about those grades.
Alice - December 19, 2006 at 4:15 pm
And I wasted all that time grading… Hmmm… Maybe will try this method next year… Thanks for a good joke!
Ron Lansing - December 19, 2006 at 4:27 pm
For another exciting and humorous escapade into the professorial grading experience, see “The Agonies of Grading” at 23 Rutgers L.Journal 107 (1991)wherein a fictional, sardonic law prof struggles to make sense out of some stereotyped answers while evaluating tort exams in the wee hours of the night.
Shane - December 19, 2006 at 4:50 pm
Well, this is certainly more sanitary than another method. Some have claimed that they spread papers on the floor and let the dog go to them. If the dog pees on them, they fail; if not, they pass. Anything pooped on . . . well, use your imagination.
Israel Silverman - December 19, 2006 at 7:25 pm
Don’t forget to staple each exam before The Toss.
Once I forgot, and then had to spend an hour trying to determine which page went with which exam.
I didn’t succeed, of course. At the end of the hour I declared failure and told my students that the exams had been accidentally destroyed (after being marked) and then used the modified lottery B method to grade(write each name on a card and flip them like baseball cards in the 60’s).
Brad - December 20, 2006 at 7:03 am
For anyone interested there is a recent dissertation from Administrivia University’s, College of Higher and Superior Education comparing the Standardized Lottery grade Awarding Method (SLAM) to the Standardized Toss Down Stair Case grade Awarding Method (STD-SCAM or STanDard-SCAM.) Author Ima Scamster has won wide-spread accolades from her peer education professors and was recently placed in a “fine, Ivy-league insitution.” Her dissertation advisor, notes that “She is perfectly positioned to move into the upper-echelon of adminstrators there. She will fit right in.”
trillwing - December 20, 2006 at 11:12 am
I prefer grading methods that involve open flame. Very satisfying, and they save on the heating bill.
StCheryl - December 20, 2006 at 12:51 pm
There is an alternative method for those who are not athletically-inclined (you wouldn’t believe the number of repetitive-motion injuries that result from throwing and retrieving exam papers from staircases): Open the exam to any page, and with closed eyes, jab at the page. The first letter you see is the grade. I’m told that all major computer grade-recording systems can accommodate all components of any major alphabet.
Nancy - December 20, 2006 at 2:12 pm
Now we need a method for papers that are graded entirely online, since there is no paper copy…
Kay - December 20, 2006 at 5:08 pm
I have been out of law school a couple of years now, but the sting of being on the receiving end of these grading practices has yet to fade.(To this day, I would bet the farm that some of my professors used the Standard SCAM method. My law school had several three story buildings at their disposal, which had many staircases that would have been perfect. I just don’t have any proof…yet.)
I am still trying to figure out they managed to cheat me out of my clearly deserved A on a scantron exam, though.
Monado - December 20, 2006 at 8:53 pm
My SO, LotStreetWiz, had an economics professor who claimed not only to use the Stair Toss method of grading but also to let his cats play with the papers and knock a few more of them downstairs before he tabulated the results. Obviously, he believed in using “high grades at the top.”
Joshua K. - December 20, 2006 at 9:38 pm
No kidding, but when I was in college, I was visiting my English professor in her office, and I noticed a Oujia Board on her desk. Given the context I bet you can see where I’m going with this… so I ask her, “hey what’s the Ouija Board for?”, and she says to me, “that’s how I figure out my grades!”
I was wondering why my grade was a Q in that class.
Playos - December 20, 2006 at 10:10 pm
Have any of you heard of these methods being applied to admission?
Laura - December 20, 2006 at 10:21 pm
Dad says my grandpa used to grade physics students’ papers like this, but never did Grandpa achieve such precision!
Sara - December 21, 2006 at 1:42 am
I’m halfway through grading middle school history projects and wondered why I didn’t use your system.
Quet - December 21, 2006 at 1:54 am
These methods are all well and good for higher education, but for the high school level, the preferred method is to sit in an over-stuffed recliner and fling the papers upward. Any papers landing directly in the lap, thus making name-reading quite easy, get the A’s. The ones landing on the arms of the recliner are B’s. Those on the leg lift are obviously C’s. All papers on the floor are F’s. There are no D’s, as too many students try to defend, and thus enhance, their grade in order to obtain the coveted “passing” grade.