Reason Number 768 To Ignore Your Spam
posted by Dan Filler
Good news on the airline terror front. The Cook County Circuit Court recently bound Mardin Amin over for trial (that is, found probable cause) on a charge of felonious disorderly conduct. The crime? It seems the crafty janitor from Skokie was trying to take his penis pump aboard a flight to Turkey in his carry-on luggage . Fair enough, I suppose, but the story gets weird when the TSA officer intervened. Flummoxed by the nature of this squeezable rubber object (the Sun-Times words, not mine) she demanded he identify the nature and purpose of this technology. “Penis pump”, he whispered, embarrassed because his mother was nearby. The ever-vigilant TSA officer heard something else. She testified that Amin had said “a bomb.” So Amin was busted (presumably leaving mom holding the pump, either to return home or take with her to Turkey.)
Now I admit I’ve assumed that Amin was telling the truth at his preliminary hearing. Maybe he really did say that his device was a bomb. And he would have done this, presumably, so that loads of security officers would come running over to admire the bargain he’d obtained through a special email offer. (The story does not mention whether he also acquired a genuine Rolex watch for $20 and received a free iPod in exchange for filling out internet surveys.)
As a legal matter, this is all rather unexceptional. Assuming the TSA officer was telling the truth – that is, assuming she was not some anti-expansionist on a crusade – she may have been right to arrest Amin. And no matter how good Amin’s story, the judge was probably right to send the case to trial if there was a dispute over the underlying facts. But what possessed Amin to carry the pump on board? Have we lost that much faith in airline baggage handling??
What a nightmare. And to think there wasn’t even any liquid in it.
Hat tip: How Appealing.
August 28, 2006 at 5:43 pm
Posted in: Humor
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